wednesday, after a particularly cleansing yoga class, i began an experiment that started as a casual personal challenge and ended near tears. My goal was to go 24 hours with out looking in a mirror, or any reflective surface-while maintaining normal personal habits (hair and makeup etc). After this initial period I thought it would be fun to see just how long i could make it. the next few days were constant avoidance. but as time passed, and i became less and less real, i found my thoughts changed and my eyes opened. i found myself seeing others in more detail- their hopes, needs and worries became my own. i was less self conscious about my physical appearance and more confident in other aspects of myself. i realized that my personal thoughts are the greatest determiner of my reality and that by carefully weeding the garden of my mind, negativity and its effects can be mitigated. and so it went- but where would it end. it was strange to miss myself as one would a distanced friend. on saturday night i decided i had to look. i couldn't take it anymore. so i did. my elation at the sight of myself was indescribable. i almost cried. as i ran from mirror to mirror welcoming myself back home i felt an intense gratitude for the friend that had been so long lost.
thank you to all of you who stood by me in this trying time... fixing my bangs and keeping me socially acceptable. except for my brother karl who kept trying to convince me i had something gross on my face- but double thank you to my very honest nieces who assured me that i looked normal.
